In which my mental state is again considered

I don't feel totally well.

Mostly, I feel fine. The weekends and the slow times are when I feel less than okay. When there's nothing to do it makes my brain spin around itself like so much string on a yo-yo. I feel like I should be doing things. Like I should have people to do things with. Inevitably, I don't. I remain unsure as to whether this is because I am bad at dealing with people or because other people are not awesome. Getting out of Redlands seems to help. I visited a friend two weekends ago, and that was good. I felt okay last week. This weekend, less so. Is this what depression feels like?

I've been feeling bad physically, as well. It's like dizzy headaches and feeling off balance. Vertigo, I suppose? I haven't really had this problem since my first year in college. The source thereof remains unknown. Last time I had serious bouts of dizziness, I discovered that eating and sleeping helped a certain extent. I've been eating well and sleeping sufficient, so...anxiety? Who knows. I would be more inclined to brush it off, but all week I've just been kind of fucked up. I know this probably is dismissable evidence to other people, but I've been falling off my unicycle all week. And at times when one does not fall off one's unicycle: like riding in a straight line on a flat surface. That isn't supposed to happen. So I wonder if that's just related to the dizzy headaches or symptomatic of larger illness (or they are both symptomatic of larger illness). Too bad my health insurance doesn't kick in til January. Right now, kind of everything hurts.

In other topics, I'm about 2/3 through the class part of my teaching credential. Not super sure how useful it's been so far, but whatever. Student teaching is in February. I expect to be teaching English for that in some capacity, because I did not get my shit together for other credential tests in time for the student teaching deadline. I'm retaking the section of Spanish that I failed in January, and hopefully I'll pass it this time (I only failed by 4%, such a close game). The Arabic test isn't until May, which is unfortunate. I'm thinking of taking social sciences in March. Beyond that, I have no fucking clue. I just hope I can get a job.

I feel incapable of relaxing. I wonder if that will go away. I always feel like I have more I should be doing. When I try to relax, I am usually dissatisfied with it for any number of reasons. Whatever.

This Must Be the Place

I have recently come to the conclusion that whatever I do with my life, there is only the smallest probability that I will ever feel satisfied. No matter how cool my job is, no matter how smart and attractive my significant other is, no matter how many friends invite me to hang out on the weekend and no matter how many tricks I can do on my unicycle I am not certain that I am ever going to be content. This problem has been difficult to identify because throughout my life I have had many reasons to be discontented, to look forward to the next. But I think I have reached the point where I should be reasonably satisfied with what it is and not keep saying "but I'm going to be doing X soon," whenever someone asks me what I'm doing. I recently articulated this life plan to my dad, "Work this shit job for a couple years, unicycle for Cirque du Soleil, then get my Ph.D." When I think about it, I'm sure when I'm in the circus I'll be like "yeah, I'm a professional unicyclist, but I'm getting ready for my Phd." And I'll constantly complain that there are no intellectuals around. And then when I do my PhD I'll be like "This is boring as fuck compared to being in the circus."

The secondary problem is that recognizing a lack of satisfaction does not automatically make me satisfied. It just makes me realize that I have a fucking problem. I don't really know from where this problem stems. Maybe it's just that I can imagine doing so much awesome shit and I know I'll never be able to do it all/have it all at once? Maybe I need prescription medication for my brain and this is actually a symptom of a larger psychological issue? I have no fucking idea.

By rights, I should be reasonably happy right now. Even though I am living in my dad's house, I have a decent if boring job, the immediate prospect of a more decent, probably-still-as-boring job, circus all afternoon and books to read, etc. I have a social life like never before. But all I think about is how I could be teaching english abroad or getting graduate degrees or whatever. Actually, it's not that I'm unhappy, but life never quite reaches that level of awesomeness that I expect it to.

In Which the Best Laid Plans Go Awry

I have a lot of ideas about what I want to do with my life. For many of those ideas, I have made, and in some cases, carried out, plans to achieve these goals. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, nothing is working out. In the interest of self pity, let's recap:

1. Did not get accepted to grad school
2. Did not pass the Arabic test to be a contract linguist
3. Applied to and interviewed for a number of jobs for which I was qualified, but did not get the jobs OR found out that the job was something sketchy/something I didn't want to do.
4. Did not pass the medical interpreters test for Spanish.
5. I can retake the Arabic test...in a year. I can retake the Spanish test whenever the state decides they can fit me in.

As I have already said to a number of people, I feel like I am doing everything possible and still coming up short. The only good-ish things of the moment are that I will probably be starting a new job (bad part: it's to be a mall security guard) that's full time. Also good-ish, I signed up for a Spanish class at the Seattle Language Academy, which seemed good except that I signed up for the highest level class and that was apparently not high enough. I was going to cancel the class (and take the 50% hit on the refund) but the nice people there said I could transfer the money paid into private lessons, which is something I never would have paid for on my own--because they're $45/hr--but I'm glad to be doing anyway. So, starting those tomorrow.

I've become distressed with how bad I'm getting at Arabic, so I've been trying to review vocabulary every day, so I can stop forgetting things. I've also started in on the second Harry Potter book translated into Arabic--I finally finished the first last month. Remembering the old vocabulary is highly frustrating and I really need to make sure I keep up with it this time. Once I finish reviewing, I haven't decided if I want to start in on medical vocabulary, with the goal of doing medical interpreting, or start on media vocabulary, which will be more useful generally and I need to know it for when I finally take that FBI test again.

I can't figure out what my current plan is. Probably because I anticipate that it's going to change at any time now. In theory I'll probaby end up working as a security guard at least through christmas. I can save up some money. If I don't pass my Spanish test the second time, I think I am going to plan on going to Ecuador or such to teach English for 6 months or so. Then maybe applying for grad school again. Probably at the Monterey Institute, but possibly at Georgetown. I'm feeling a bit gun-shy about applying to school again because I haven't really done anything to distinguish myself since I graduated that would make me a better candidate. Ideally, I want to pass the medical test for Spanish and Arabic and then apply to the MI because then I will be a very boss candidate for the Masters in Translation and Interpreting. But at this point, any fucking thing could happen so, like I said, I'm hesitant to plan too far out.

In non-linguistic news, I've become rather obsessed with cooking. My current idea has been to cook in bulk and freeze things so that I don't have to cook so often. Plus it's been getting hot in the afternoons and that makes me want to stay out of the kitchen. I successfully made marinara sauce and meatballs and froze those up last weekend. Yesterday I tried to make pumpkin ravioli, but it was not a success. Today's plan includes vegetarian chili. Luckily it has been pretty cool outside the last few days, so cooking isn't making me sweat to death. I also ordered 5 or so cookbooks, having found everything good on the internet already. Topcis include: curry, bread, pasta, soup and burgers. So I should be able to get a lot of good eats out of that.

Things of Great Annoyance and Things of the Good

1. Today on campus I passed two people with a giant sign board. I figured it was some club so I turned as I passed it to see what it was. And, to my displeasure, it was a picture of an aborted fetus about 2'x3' (maybe bigger) prominently displayed among other small pictures and a sign saying something like "Does this change you opinion of abortion?" or something equally inane. I was about 80% ready to give these fuckheads a piece of my mind but I decided not to bitch them out. Probably better that way, but I'm still going to rant here. Do they think that any woman wants, really wants to abort her baby. Even when a child is "unwanted" it's not because she wakes up one morning and says "I feel like killing something that never had a chance, I'm going out for some unprotected intercourse right away." Getting an abortion, I imagine (and have been informed) is traumatic and painful enough and I don't think anyone takes that kind of decision lightly. so WHY do these asshats feel the need to display a huge, disgusting poster of disheveled, bloody baby pieces to remind us that not only are you a cold-blooded killer, but you're going to hell if you do it. So a big FUCK YOU, University of Washington anti-women's rights sign bearers of the day. You almost made me vomit and you wish to condemn women everywhere, that is if you can't chain them to the stove in a life of domestic servitude. Good one.
2. (the rest of these are much minor rants) Co-workers not showing up for their shift and other irresponsible transgressions. Tuesday I was supposed to close with one of our newer coworkers. I got in at 5, as was he supposed to, and the two openers decided it would be cool to leave before the other guy showed up. Their reassurance "There's a mid." The mid-shift worker is also NEW. So naturally, 5:30 rolls around and he's not there. Not only that, but this guy doesn't even have a number I can call. The new guy stays til 9, which is better than nothing but I sitll had to keep an eye on him. So fuck you too, former co-worker!
3. Bus etiquette. When you get on the bus move to the back! Especially in the morning when it gets really full. Don't get on the bus and then stand there right where you got on. This is a major peeve of mine and indeed a GREAT ANNOYANCE

I think that's it...for now!

So to balance that out I suppose it must be THINGS OF THE GOOD

1. Tomorrow I'm going to take photos of the cherry blossoms on campus, for there are many and my camera is nice.
2. My Arabic teacher is hilarious. However, I don't think I can really describe it
3. I ordered a crock pot and intend to make delicious meals as soon as it gets here
4. I'm going to start going to the farmers market for buying as much of my groceries as possible.
   
5. It's payday.
6. I already have my writing class presentation out of the way for the quarter. And it was good.
   

Retail Slave, you have no soul!

Day two of Post-Thanksgiving shopocalypse:

I have no soul.

First thing this morning I sold a guy a bunch of crap that he didn't want (but I mean, you NEED a memory card and batteries to run your camera, and why are you buying your wife a $99 camera, doesn't she deserve better?). I could tell he didn't want it, but he bought it, damn it. As it happens, he overcame my sales mojo and returned it later, but I'm doing this all the time. I've given my service plan pitch so many times that I have it's echoing through my mind; deja vu on every sale while supplies last! The problem is that as much as I hate my job, I seem to be good at it. I've been number three in sales volume the last two days (not counting all the things I special ordered, about $3000) and almost all of my sales were "quality." No boxes here. But somewhere between qualifying questions and detailing club card rewards, I fucking lost it. My mouth and hands are moving but there's nothing left of me anymore.

I hate sales.

I like the money that it gets me though. Any other job in the mall is just going to be $8/hr. I probably averaged at least $13/hr the last two days. Probably more. I'm going to email this lady who offered to help me get a job translating for the city after new years. But I don't think I'm going to make it through Christmas. If this is day two, and my manager assures me that this kind of foot traffic is going to be the norm from December 10th on, I may not see my 22nd birthday. Aside from the soulless camera touting, the mall is full of crazy people. I had three come in today. One woman was pissed that her photos were not done in 15 minutes--who does anything faster than an hour? I told her they might be done sooner. Then a guy who said he ordered a clock and an 8x10" of him and his girlfriend (I couldn't believe he had a girlfriend) came running in mad about how he send out to get a photo clock done several months ago but never heard back and he wants it right-fucking-now. I couldn't find a record of it so I didn't really know what to do and he starts telling me that he'll tell everyone to never come here. So he tells a woman at the counter "don't come here! they stole tons of my money!" and she--hero of the day-- says "don't talk to me." and asks me how I deal with the crazies. Right after we are flooded with crazy people (they all came in at once today), Nick--that's right, our favourite undiagnosed manic depressive coworker--storms out shouting "That's it, I'm going home now!" when he was schedule to close. He wouldn't say what was wrong. The store was full of people. Way to have good timing! Luckily (sorta) he came back 15 minutes later. But what is this guy's problem? I'm probably going equally as nuts but part of the job is keeping it inside for later. How many fucking times does he have to throw a fit/storm out/yell at coworkers before he gets fired! If I did that, I'd probably be at least written up. This guy gets away with so much shit and only receives a slap on the hand. Get another job if you want to bitch and moan, man. Retail is not the place.

A series of rants

Because if you can't complain to the internet, to whom can you complain?

Bus etiquette: When people are getting on the bus and it's apparent that many more people will be getting on the bus, they should not just walk on and stand right at the front. You move to the BACK so more people can get on. Very few people effectively employ this tactic and it annoys because it makes the bus go slow and these people just look around all confused like "why would I need to move?" when there are quite a few seats left in the back.

Product Red/Pink breast cancer awareness things: If companies just cut a check for the amount that they spend on advertising and making these stupid Product Red things, AIDS would be solved in about 5 minutes. Instead, everyone must appear super philanthropic and sell tee shirts that say RED on them. Oh boy you are really helping! If you want to help, just give that $25 you would spend on that shirt to a charity and skip the middle man altogether. Same with the breast cancer M&Ms and other shit. Solving breast cancer one bag of M&Ms at a time! okay!

Work: So my slow camera store--Cameras West--closed down this week for being too slow. Which makes sense since it's just down from one of our companies other, busier stores Kitt's Camera. I went to work at Kitts in the mall starting on Friday and it only took about 1 shift before someone called me Daria. It's just like that episode where everyone calls Daria the "misery chick" and she's like "I'm really not unhappy" and has a little crisis about it. I'm happy in m own way, stop bugging me. I don't really like selling cameras, but it's what I'm doing for the meantime. I hope I can get an Arabic TA/tutoring job in January. The other problem with working at Kitts is that my coworker who can't get along with my boss and I was relocated there. So now it's a problem again. We are not pleased.

Midterms: I have one on monday, and I work Today, i worked yesterday, friday and thursday as well. so....probably time to go study.

Glittering Prize

I feel like I haven't really been doing a lot lately, so I haven't been writing much. I also apparently haven't been angsty lately since I predominantly write about that as well.

Ian's going to be here next week, so I'm really excited about that. A little nervous as well becuase I've never lived with someone I was in a relationship with, but I'm optimistic (or, about as optimistic as it's possible for me to be).

This quarter of school is halfway over and I've been doing pretty well. Unless I fuck up majorly in the next few weeks, I should be getting As in everything. My only (conceptually) difficult class is syntax, and our prof is making it as easy as possible. But the most difficult class in terms of annoyance is French becuase we keep "learning" things that I've learned before and I have to show up EVERY DAY to turn in homework. It's terrible and boring.

The Arabic class that I HAVE to take this summer is canceled. What useless scheduling. My advisor suggested studying at one of the language academies in town and then taking the placement test at the end of the summer. I guess that's what I'm going to do because I'm really running out of options here. And yes, I do feel like I am constantly being screwed over. It's really making me want to give up on it. Seriously. I think the only reason I haven't is that I would be terrible disappointed and hate myself over it.

I don't know...right now I'm just really looking forward to Ian being here.

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This makes me glad I'm not at BYU anymore. VP Cheney is supposed to speak at BYU's graduation this year, so a few people protested. Here is the video.

She Likes Big Words and Playing Pretend

I've always considered myself to be fairly outgoing and affable. And, I suppose I am. However, these traits do not necessarily correlate with making/maintaining good friendships.

admission: I am socially inept

discussion: For whatever reason (my dad says it's because I'm too critical), I can't stand most people. People annoy me. I find myself thinking that I should spend time with people anyway. When I do, I usually am reminded why people annoy me. All you people who read this, I like you, please don't take offense. It just takes me a really long time to like anyone at all beyond the initial casual conversation part. Why don't I like people? My best guest is that I'm critical of others because I'm even more critical of myself. Thus, traits that I see in myself and then see in others are criticized. But, I feel like I criticize a lot of things I don't see in myself as well? Maybe I'm just lying about that. Perhaps I don't like people because it's difficult to trust people. People say things and then don't do those things, or are often just douches. Maybe it just seems like they're douches from misunderstandings. That takes us back to the point of me being too critical.

I've always felt that I should have a lot of friends and hang out with those friends. I have a lot of of friends who I like and I like to hang out with, but none of them live where I live. This exacerbates my problem. I make friends, friends either live elsewhere or I move. In fact, this pattern has existed for my whole life. In elementary school when I lived in Yucaipa, I remember being really close friends with this kid named Brian. We were cool. In 4th grade, we moved over to Redlands where in elementary school I sort of had a few friends but not really. I managed to finally have a few close friends by middle school, I suppose. But then of course I moved to england and fell out of touch with many of them (thanks to my incredible powers of not keeping in touch with people) and then I had to start over again my sophmore year. Obviously we can see this cycle repeated on a much faster scale in my college years. Perhaps the answer is then that it just takes me a long time to get into good friendships. On the scale of a year or two?

It wouldn't be so bad just being anti-social except that it creates this loop of me thinking I shouldn't be like this, and then when I try to go against it, I feel like anti-sociality is mostly better. Maybe I just haven't met people who like to hang out how i like to hang out. The way most college people socialize is by getting together and drinking. And for anyone who knows me, you know it's not my preferred method of being social. BYU is, of course, the exception; the main form of socialization there is any type of interaction that furthers the quest for a mate.

Even having just given a cursory examination to the circumstances that could have caused this, I feel like I didn't use to be anti social. I feel that way, but it must not be true because my step-mom always used to bother me about not playing with other kids enough or whatever thing. But then again, she might have just wanted me out of her presence. This mystery remains unsolved.

I spent a lot of time discussing this with my therapist in Oregon, and I thought we'd accomplished something, but maybe not. Either that or I forgot or needed affirmation about it but having not seen a therapist for 4 months, it hasn't been as affirmed as I'd liked. We generally put this subject in terms of feeling important or "good enough" to be conversational and make friends with other people. I don't find myself interesting. Sure, I juggle knives and ride a unicycle but the fact of the matter is, I go to school and work and eat breakfast and do boring crap just like everyone else. And then I turn to escapism. There's nothing interesting about that. Why would anyone even want to care? --

ah...the root of the problem. I knew I would find it if I kept writing. I find everyday activities and my participation in them to be very unexciting, disinteresting. Maybe it's from reading too much fantasy literature or watching too many cartoons as a child, but I think a lot of life is boring.

conclusion: But the thing is, that's what life IS! it's just the boring day to day stuff and what you make of it, and I think on some level I'm profoundly disappointed by that. Like there should be more. Or there is more and I'm just not doing it. Actually that's probably it. I hate feeling like I'm missing out on something interesting. When people call me and I can hear everyone really having a good time, I find that upsetting. I want to be doing something fun as well but I'm just at home reading a book probably. Maybe watching a movie. So why would this person want to talk to me when he or she has much more interesting things happening right there? I don't actually know what I'm going to (or can) do about this. Writing about it at least helps me consider the problem more fully though. Not being interesting is kind of a linked topic with "no one cares" for me, which is another feeling that I've always felt pretty strongly. This could stem from a billion different ideas, but I can most notably trace it back to the parents: my mom leaving, my dad repeatedly telling me during childhood and my adolesence that no one care about me except him (he did honestly say that. If you ask him, he'll admit it though not happily), and my step mom just obviously not giving a fuck about me. It's just really hard for me to trust that anyone does care, it takes a long time. And that's probably why I don't have friends or a social life. It takes a long time for anyone to prove that they care and by that time I've probably moved or found some reason to shut myself off again. Gods, I fucken fail.

edit: I just remembered, its the day before easter (well, easter now i guess). This day always goes terribly and i always have something bothering me. I don't know why, it's not like I do it on purpose.

The Art of Noise Is Paranoid

At the risk of sounding emo . . .

I'm feeling unreasonably angsty at the moment and i'm not exactly sure what brought it on. I feel really sick of talking to everyone and the overconnectedness of the interblags (note to facebook: I DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE IS DOING ALL THE TIME), cell phone, AIM, skype, MSN, and on and on. Shut of skype and msn. not browsing the interblags. Initiating permanent away on AIM. Tired of talking to people. Tired of trying to help. I want to be out in the middle of the white desert or something. No one is around for a loooong way. Just you and a shitload of sky and sand. No internet. No phone. hear yourself breathe, think.

This may just be pre-finals stress. Paper due wednesday for sociology; insufficient evidence to support hypothesis, either 1) couldn't find it 2) doesn't exist. possibility of conducting my own research: none. Sociology is so useless. It's just terming things that the average intelligent person would conclude on his or her own. "When a group cuts ties with the outside and then receives criticism from the outgroup, group members develop what is called SIEGE MENTALITY." Well...yeah. Arabic final is on saturday. Moment of truth/redemption. alternately, moment of abysmal failure. Insha'allah, the first one. I know my shit, i just have to show that I know my shit and not get any weird ass other shit sprung on me. DO NOT ASK ME TO READ ABOUT EASTER FESTIVITIES IN ARABIC. Christ, that was stupid. Syntax quiz tomorrow. I don't even remember what the last thing we read about was. Fuck. Note to self: measure twice, cut once. Good advice. phonetiks i need to flawlessly know the IPA chat (mostly there already) and commit features to memory. Maybe some other peripheral studying, and some problem set due on monday. what the hell? Almost done.

But seriously, just feeling like i need to escape. Physical escape. Starting to feel that kind of situational claustrophobia thing that I get. The "what if i get stuck like this in this terrible permance looped for all time." wake up, shower, dress go to schoool, go to work, come home study sleep wake up study drees shower sleep school work and on on on on on. I thought this wouldn't happen here because I like it here and I like seattle and school really isn't so bad. Except I'm failing--separate topic. I think i just have a terrible terrible fear of staaaagnaaattioooooon. stagnation. stuck. Go up and down 15th ave on the bus everyday. Go home come back, it's a small loop that just keeps going.

I'll try to write in full sentences now....

I'm probably fine. But you can never be sure.

In reality, today I had a doctor's appointment and got birth control again. Last month I felt like I was bleeding to death and completely devoid of nutrients. This month I'm having PMS of from hell of death. like it just hurts and i hurt every where and i go die in bed for half hour stretches. Hopefully it builds character or something. pills curb this, hence the doctor's visit. I'm so glad that we have science.

Also, I ordered a birthday present for Ian today. Tried to study and continually got distracted by /b/ (it's motivational monday!). I need to write this sociology paper but it's just not working. I think I may cop-out and just write something easy. I hate writing boring papers, but time is short and i just don't care enough.

Time to escape back into my imagination. away away away...

Half the week in review

Thusday was day two of school five. I got lost again. I've definitely having more directional problems than I normaly do. I usually just study the school's map ahead of time and manage to get to the building. Not so, UW. What maladroit misfit designed this place? I joined my syntax class 5 minutes late and spotted several of the (more annoying) individuals from my phonetics class on alternate days. Both linguistics classes are two hours, twice a week. That means I have to spend 8 hours a week with assholes. Pretty lame. There are these two blonde girls who are at least sisters and I think are probably twins in both classes and they seem really creepy. They take all the same classes and are in the same majors and wear very similar clothes. Normally twins don't cause me disquiet (obviously) but they're just freaky as hell.

Last night I finally adjusted my sleeping schedule. I slept from 1:30 to 9:30 this morning, thank god. I think I have a problem with having pressure to sleep. I'll always look at my clock and think "I have to be awake again in N number of hours!" and then that panics me a bit, and then i don't sleep. Either that or it was just anxious energy at being at a new school. Both are possible.

Today I applied for some jobs. When I came home from this venture, I received an email saying that I scored a 44% on the arabic placement exam. This was pretty soul-crushing for me. Actually, it shattered my ego completely and I've spent the whole evening almost crying. Well, no, take that back a bit. After I found out I had phailed, the director of arabic suggested I take 422 (2nd quarter 2nd year) this quarter. There is no way in hell that I can restructure my schedule to accomodate this class. I would have to drop both ling courses and then find another course to fit into my schedule. My obvious first choice is Spanish, but since the UW has not decided to address the issue of the most recent transcript I've sent them, I apparently do not have the prerequisties to take the Spanish class I want. I suppose I could take another placement test but it would probably destroy me. Facing my ignorance in Arabic was soul crushing, facing defeat in espanol would actually kill me all the way. I'm considering taking 2nd year intensive over the summer, but I feel like such an ass. I won't want to do any work becuase I've already done 2nd year (obviously not very well. but I got a B+ and an A in my second year courses, wtf).

Around when I started at BYU, I remember planning to graduate in three years. If I were still there, I would be graduating this Spring. Instead, I'm going to be taking almost twice as long. The realization of which pretty much made me cry. I seriously feel like I'm going to be in school for All Time and that's just been bothering me a lot lately. The earliest I could graduate now is in 2009 (thanks to missing the Arabic classes I would have liked >.>). And five years isn't that long I guess...

In other topics, I feel like the internet is trying TOO hard to connect us all. It seems like any forum or other-service website now not only offers the forum/service, but also allows messaging! the ability to "friend" people! media hosting! groups! blogs! email! I mean, I'm cool with having my email in once place and my photos in another. I don't have to "friend" all of the same people every time we all join a new website. It's really getting kind of old. But I guess eventually the interwebs will just consolidate entirely and maybe then I won't have to remember the logins and passwords for so many sites.

Almost a Disaster

Today's photo is from Amazon. I don't understand why people need "stadium style nachos" at home, but there you have it. Where do people even put these things? I guess if you live in a big house you have space for weird nacho machine/holder things.

First day of school. Forgot my map and schedule. Got lost. Magically made it to both classes on time, but not before seriously considering giving up and hiding in a bathroom to cry over my failure. Sects and Violence is held in the college of forest studies building, so there are signs about recycling and Arbor Day all over. The professor seems a bit self-possessed, but I think if I do the reading, I should be fine. We watched a movie about the People's Temple cult, which I was fascinated by. The class is 2.5 hours long though, which is pretty harsh.

Phonetics went quite well. Our teacher is a really nice grad student who studies sociophonetics. I didn't know that was even a discipline, but if phonetics were to interest me, I think that would be the topic. We formed a little contingent of morphology-lovers at my table. We may start a war.

I am not sure why this article from the Christian Science Monitor presents such surprise that men and women are having friendships just as they would have friends within their own gender. I mean, I've been doing that for a while now and I don't think it's a big deal. Although I do think it's good that some schools are allowing men and women to room together now. Really it's their own choice and for people like me who can never seem to live with girls well, it would be much better.