A long rant on education classes and other things

Having just about finished my "education" classes for my teaching credential, I feel qualified to say that it is no wonder that education in this country is so fucked up.

Of the five classes I took, I felt that two of the teachers we had were well qualified and motivated, one was middling, and one--who we had for two of the five classes--was just awful.What the hell? Are there not enough teachers out there who are motivated and skilled teachers who are willing to pass on their methods to the next generation of teachers, or did I just get extra unlucky? Of the good teachers, one ended class halfway early every time, which is great one the one hand (yay, going home early!), but on the other hand, we could have actually learned something from that guy, so that's fairly disappointing.

We have had a number of textbooks, maybe one of which was really useful. The rest seem to create some pedagogical echo chamber reiterating the importance of vocabulary acquisition and the use of graphic organizers. As a whole, they had very little to do with my field: applied linguistics/language acquisition. The only good thing about having such mediocre texts is that it did inspire me to go off on my own and find things that I think are useful. But you know, the majority of people don't think that way. Most people, when presented with this situation just say, "This is easier than I thought it was going to be!" and move on. And I get that attitude, I do. Everyone is busy, you have a job, some of the people in my class have kids. But if you're going to be there, spending the time and money to start a new career, don't you want to start it with as much knowledge as possible? Nothing is going to be as good as classroom experience, but don't you want to at least know what is happening in your field? I think that teachers have a personal responsibility to keep current with the research of their discipline, even if only a little bit. My master teacher was telling me that a lot of the teachers at her school with masters degrees have them from education programs. I'm assuming that's because it's so easy. I wonder if they are better teachers for it? I wonder if teachers who have a masters/Ph.D. in their field of teaching are better teachers than those with a masters in education? Granted, there are a lot of people who are highly educated and terrible instructors (just look at any college campus), but I'd be interested to know if there are any statistics on that.

I was talking about this with my dad and it was his view that having high standards is great because it makes you want to be good at things, but shitty because it mostly just makes you go insane since you can't do much about it. He also gave me a few "that's just how the world works," which is extremely depressing. People have low/zero motivation--even about the things that they are most interested in--and there is nothing you can do about it so just roll with it and pick your battles. That was his message. I told him that this message was "the most depressing thing ever," but he just came back with "that's reality." I'm far from an optimist, but damn. I haven't even started yet and he's already telling me that no one can accomplish anything. Apparently, the only way to get things done is to be in it for the long game. My dad also told me that when he was working as an electrician 25 years ago at the same hospital he is now the facilities manager of, he would see things that need fixing and his boss would just tell him no, that it was someone else's problem. Now, he is the boss and he says he is fixing some of the things that were problems 25 years ago. Holy shit! Conclusion: my dad's version of reality is pretty sad.

Since classes have been so understimulating, I feel like I've been way more of an obnoxious asshole than I typically am. It's expensive and I have to sit there for long classes and we have basically nothing to do, so I mostly heckle the professor. That's something I kind of hate about myself, but I think goes back to the high expectations. I have high expectations for myself and the people around me. I expect to learn something from going to classes designed to make me into an educator. I expect to do something other than jigsaws every day. And honestly, I expect to have to do work once in a while. And not bullshit work that is just because someone said that we should all do it, but work that actually teaches me something. Here are some examples of total bullshit work.

1. TPAs. I totally forget what this stands for, but we have to do four of them throughout the credential program. They are long, repetitive case-study assignments wherein one must select teaching strategies for hypothetical students and justify their use. It's completely pointless. It takes me around six hours to do, so I know it's taking other people even longer than that.  You know what would actually be useful instead? Selecting teaching strategies, perhaps writing a brief justification for their use, actually using them in the classroom, and then thinking about how it went and what one could do better or differently next time. Bam, done! I just made the education world better.
2. This fucking presentation that we have to do for class next week. We have group presentation, the content of which is so prescribed, it reads like an assignment for fifth graders. The syllabus lays out the assignment stating how many slides to do of each topic and provides links for where to find this information. Everyone in the class has already read these and submitted the compulsory notes on the topics. Now, every group is going to give the same presentation. In a graduate level class? Are you fucking kidding me? I told my professor that I would be going "off book" in my presentation regarding the topics of content area literacy and language acquisition. Why? Because I have something more useful to add. My professor keeps chiding me for not making the material relevant to my teaching practice, but at least he's been cool when I say "I think this is stupid and I'm going to do something I find useful." 

I am just so sick of laziness and mediocrity. Laziness is the new normal. My classmates keep calling me an overachiever, but I've mostly been retorting to that with "I just achieved ahead of the deadline," but you know, I'd rather be an overachiever if regular achieving doesn't do anything. It makes me think of the conversations I have with people when I say that I am a language person and I speak a few languages. People always say "oh, you must just have a natural (or god-given, if they're really trying to irritate me) talent for languages!" And I say, "No, I am good at languages because I have made the effort and spent a huge amount of time on it. Anyone who spent as much time as I did on this would be at least pretty decent as well," but no one wants to hear that because it is easier to believe that some people are just good at things. People, you are good at the things that you make an effort in! So make an effort once in a while! Ultimately, I think that's what our teaching system is lacking: effort.

In which my mental state is again considered

I don't feel totally well.

Mostly, I feel fine. The weekends and the slow times are when I feel less than okay. When there's nothing to do it makes my brain spin around itself like so much string on a yo-yo. I feel like I should be doing things. Like I should have people to do things with. Inevitably, I don't. I remain unsure as to whether this is because I am bad at dealing with people or because other people are not awesome. Getting out of Redlands seems to help. I visited a friend two weekends ago, and that was good. I felt okay last week. This weekend, less so. Is this what depression feels like?

I've been feeling bad physically, as well. It's like dizzy headaches and feeling off balance. Vertigo, I suppose? I haven't really had this problem since my first year in college. The source thereof remains unknown. Last time I had serious bouts of dizziness, I discovered that eating and sleeping helped a certain extent. I've been eating well and sleeping sufficient, so...anxiety? Who knows. I would be more inclined to brush it off, but all week I've just been kind of fucked up. I know this probably is dismissable evidence to other people, but I've been falling off my unicycle all week. And at times when one does not fall off one's unicycle: like riding in a straight line on a flat surface. That isn't supposed to happen. So I wonder if that's just related to the dizzy headaches or symptomatic of larger illness (or they are both symptomatic of larger illness). Too bad my health insurance doesn't kick in til January. Right now, kind of everything hurts.

In other topics, I'm about 2/3 through the class part of my teaching credential. Not super sure how useful it's been so far, but whatever. Student teaching is in February. I expect to be teaching English for that in some capacity, because I did not get my shit together for other credential tests in time for the student teaching deadline. I'm retaking the section of Spanish that I failed in January, and hopefully I'll pass it this time (I only failed by 4%, such a close game). The Arabic test isn't until May, which is unfortunate. I'm thinking of taking social sciences in March. Beyond that, I have no fucking clue. I just hope I can get a job.

I feel incapable of relaxing. I wonder if that will go away. I always feel like I have more I should be doing. When I try to relax, I am usually dissatisfied with it for any number of reasons. Whatever.

encore une fois

Today was my last day of class as an undergraduate. It was only one class and all we did was watch a movie, but still that's it. This morning I got on the bus and sat down and I almost started crying. I just feel really overwhelmed with being done with school and having to start Adult Life or whatever the hell one does. I feel like school is all I know how to do because it's really what you do for your whole life, to a certain point. I like the idea that I devote the bulk of my time to learning things, but now I'm going to have to do something that makes money (or enough money anyway) and learn things in my spare time. The thing that I'm not sad about is no longer have to center my study on required classes or doing things to get a grade, which, as we know, is much different than doing things to learn them.

Here are my current job potential things:

1. an agent at Farmers Insurance. While this has the greatest potential for economic prosperity it also has the greatest potential for failure. I have my third interview on monday in which I will a) present a marketing strategy and b) give them money for my licensing classes/test. The only problem I see with this is generating enough clients to get going. It sounded like they were going to be more supportive so I'm feeling more reluctant than I was at first. After your test you have to sell 40 or so policies within 3 months before you become a full agent. At which point you get salary pay + commission for the first two years. I am concerned about the gap in between those two.
2. I am still working on my Spanish medical interpreter certification. I sent in the form/money for the spoken test and I expect that will be in a month or two (hopefully two). The annoying this is that I'll have to drive down to Olympia for it. Ah well. The translation agency that I've been planning to work for is still willing to take me after I certify, so I have that going for me.
   
3. About a year ago I put in an application for a contract linguist for the FBI. Yesterdy they decided to call me back. They left a message and we're playing phonetag, but I'm really curious to know what they want.
4. I still don't know if I'll be doing the MLIS program. I won't hear til April and I'm not sure how (if at all) I'll be integrating that into a work schedule--hopefully it will be the online program though. I kind of wish I knew already so I could make a more informed decision.
   

I still have two finals to take (Persian and Andalusian lit), so school isn't totally over yet. My dad is going to be here in two weeks to bring up my car (trans am!). After finals week I know I'm taking at least two weeks of vacation. I asked for two weeks off work (because yes, I still work there for now) and even if I quit right away, my licensing exam isn't until mid April. In the meantime, I'm going to keep going with a lot of Spanish studying, hopefully work on Arabic too. I really want to start learning Hindi but I think i should probably wait.

Today in anecdotes:
On wednesday I was taking the bus for my interview and I spotted a dude carring a boquet of roses and a 12 pack of Coke (i almost wrote "12 pack of cock"--that would have been the more interesting story). I found this amusing so I guess I was looking at him for longer than one should look at people on the bus. So then he kept looking at me and looking at me and it was freaking me the fuck out. He was looking at me like he might want to say something, like he knew me maybe. I thought about if he looked like anyone I know, and the only person I could think of was the british guy I dated when I was 14 (classy but true). This of course seemed quite unlikely. In any case, when I got off the bus I ran away. Conclusion: I will be glad to have a car because I won't have strange people looking at me or talking to me--that happens too.

Glittering Prize

I feel like I haven't really been doing a lot lately, so I haven't been writing much. I also apparently haven't been angsty lately since I predominantly write about that as well.

Ian's going to be here next week, so I'm really excited about that. A little nervous as well becuase I've never lived with someone I was in a relationship with, but I'm optimistic (or, about as optimistic as it's possible for me to be).

This quarter of school is halfway over and I've been doing pretty well. Unless I fuck up majorly in the next few weeks, I should be getting As in everything. My only (conceptually) difficult class is syntax, and our prof is making it as easy as possible. But the most difficult class in terms of annoyance is French becuase we keep "learning" things that I've learned before and I have to show up EVERY DAY to turn in homework. It's terrible and boring.

The Arabic class that I HAVE to take this summer is canceled. What useless scheduling. My advisor suggested studying at one of the language academies in town and then taking the placement test at the end of the summer. I guess that's what I'm going to do because I'm really running out of options here. And yes, I do feel like I am constantly being screwed over. It's really making me want to give up on it. Seriously. I think the only reason I haven't is that I would be terrible disappointed and hate myself over it.

I don't know...right now I'm just really looking forward to Ian being here.

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This makes me glad I'm not at BYU anymore. VP Cheney is supposed to speak at BYU's graduation this year, so a few people protested. Here is the video.

Trip Across the Starting Line

I woke up today fully unprepared for a new quarter to start. I'm used to much longer breaks inbetween terms of school and this week I worked a lot and visited Ian...not particularly restful. I had planned to meet with my linguistics advisor this morning so i could talk my way into phonology, but she emailed me and demanded that i reschedule, so now i can't go until wednesday. I don't think that's too late to add a course, but we'll see what happens. As (i think i) said, I kind of don't want to take it anyway, but seeing as it's required for the major...yeah. So today I only had French, and to my surprise, le prof is actually French. Such an amazing concept, no? The textbook sems pretty nice as well, but of course, thanks to my epic series of transfers I can never get myself quite lined up with a new book, so I missed two tenses and I need to review the older vocabulary, but on the other hand, this chapter is about teh comparative and the subjunctive, both topics i'm fairly competent with. I had forgotten that most people who take french annoy me, but I guess I'll try to give these people a chance since I was feeling anti-social and out of sorts today. Out of sorts to the point where I got on the wrong bus to go home after school. I miss taking Spanish, but I feel like taking french is going to help me more for when i get to grad school, and I can always study spanish in my own time. but I only feel casually interested in French, whereas Arabic and Spanish are my languages of choice. Speaking Arabic, I am going to be studying it a bit every day as well so when i take it this summer the professor will also be confused as to why, exactly, i need to repeat second year. booo.

I can't tell quite what but something feels wrong, like I'm missing something or I'm supposed to be doing something or...I'm not sure.

there's a lot i will never do
some fantastic and oh it's true
but not as much as my want to be with you

A play in three acts

The last three days were so happy, now etched in my memory and little more than a dream. It's hard to hold on to the reality of something after it's over. Maybe once I develop the photos, that will help? Visiting Ian this week made me love him even more than I already did and i can't wait for June. I couldn't keep from crying when i left. and now i have to sleep by myself in my cold bed. Anything i say on this topic is inadequeate...but it was a fantastic three days, except for the part when i missed my flight and was really tired. although even that turned out okay.

I got my grades for winter term on tuesday and i was extremely upset about it. C- in phonetics, B- in syntax and sociology, B+ in dinosaurs (yeah, great...), and I got 60% on my arabic test which means that I can't take arabic this quarter. I think the main reasons for doing so badly were that i had too many credits and i was working too much. I'll have less credits this term and I informed my work that if they didn't schedule me less i would be quitting, so...hopefully i can keep my job. It gets me out of the house...i tend to get reclusive. So this quarter it's Dean's List or gtfo to make up for last quarter's terrible grades. My new schedule consists of French, syntax II and Prehistoric life (finishing up that science requirement). I may be taking phonology as well, even though I sort of don't want to. it's daily at 8:30 but, it has to be done. I don't know...but I' mtalking to my advisor tomorrow, so it's a maybe.

There was something interesting I had thought of earlier regarding fate and god or something but now I can't remember it. rawr.

i'm tired as hell, hopefully i'll get some good sleeps tonight.

Strange Dreams of Another Star

As soon as I think I might finally be okay, I realize that I'm still not. I had a dream the other night, and the details aren't important, but I ended up with a whole bunch of mormons in some gathering or another and my dream-self broke down crying--crying hysterically. Then I went over to Ian and begged him that we leave. After that I woke up and felt kind of shaken. I've never cried in a dream before and it was a bit odd. Not as odd as dying in a dream, I'm sure (that's never happened to me, but apparently it symbolizes some intense psychological issues), but it still made me too unsteady to sleep properly until my alarm went off an hour and a half later. That dream made me feel weird for the whole day, which reminds me that I'm still not over being Mormon or the way I left mormonism, it's hard to describe what exactly i'm not over because, like I said, I keep thinking that I'm okay.

Maybe I just need to stop watching documentaries that remind me of Mormons and subsequently piss me off. I watched Jesus Camp last week and the other day I watched The Devil's Playground. Both are dealing with religious groups using intense control mechanisms and that discourage any kind of critical thinking. And I guess that kind of thing is still "too close to home" or whatever for me. Watching such documentaries is the equivalent of watching a truly frightening horror film for most people. Zombies or vampires or what have you. Maybe I just need someone to cling to during the films, and then i'll be okay.

I think one of my main problems is that I'm still afraid. Afraid of mormons (for no good reason), afraid of my step mom (not over that one either) and afraid I'll be like my mom. Sometimes afraid that I'm crazy as well, and I'm just living in an elaborate, fucked up fabrication of my mind. Which, if I am, means two things: i have a more powerful imagination than I thought and I'm completely masochistic. Ian assures me that I'm not crazy, merely eccentric. He's probably right, but you never know. I know that generally if you know you're crazy, then you probably aren't. But I figure it's kind of like a dream and you know you're dreaming, but you can't wake up. But if none of this is real, it's really not that bad, and I'm sure it's better than whatever reality I'd otherwise be facing.

In more normal news, I've registered for next quarter and my schedule is looking pretty decent.
Earth and Space Sciences 100: prehistoric life, T, W, Th 9:30-10:20
Arabic 423 (end of second year, which i actually already have credit for >.>), M-F 10:30
C LIT 240: comparative literature, M-F 11:30
French 203: end of second year french, technically making me equal in skill at arabic and french, but the languages are taught so differently, that i have no idea, M-F 12:30

The good news is that after the spring, I'll be totally finished with my general education reqs. I've also been planning out which classes I want to take for the summer, which seems like it should work quite well. Next fall I should be pretty on track with all my majors/minors, so no more panicing on that front. I still need to meet with my ling advisor to officially declare the major and a Spanish advisor to negotiate for transfer credits.

Other than the occassional bout of craziness, I guess I've been doing pretty well lately. I've been working a lot (a lot for me, anyway). Last night this lady who works as a case manager for aging and disabled people for the city gave me her card and was encouraging me to look into getting an interpreting gig with her department. I know that I'm not good enough to do that--that's not just me being self-effacing, I really wouldn't be able to do it--but I figure, stay in contact with this lady, maybe I'll be good enough in a year or so. If I know what words to study, I'm sure I could work it out. She said that city interpreters ger around $35/hr. For anyone who doesn't want to do the math, that's 4.5 times what I get paid now.

I want finals to be over, my recreational reading has been suffering too much.

More Than This

My motivation to blog has gotten pretty low. I don't really like writing about the mundanity of the day-to-day (which I had been doing to keep my family members from harassing me about, but now...) and then there has been stuff giong on, but that's really been between me and the people who already know about it. So...what remains?

I got a job in a camera shop, which I am starting this afternoon. I don't know that much about cameras, but I do know how to sell things. hopefully, I won't fuck up.

Sometimes I say things just on reflex. For example, in syntax today, our prof says "oh no, I don't really want to give away the next chapter, but..." and she starts writing. And I say "SPOILER ALERT!" and all the people around me were very amused.

So yeah...school is going along and i think the quarter is almost half over now. I finally got my new Arabic textbook so i've been trying to catch up. I more or less know the stuff, but the problem is that most of the time studying is spent staring at the book and i'm thinknig "Why can't I remember!" Which, for me, is probably one of the most painful things. I really don't like it when I spent tons of time learning stuff and i forgt it. I'm re-learning quite quickly but it just sucks that I have to re-learn at all. Hopefully, I won't be facing this problem with spanish and french when i start again on it next quarter or so. But somehow i think I'll be okay.

The Tribulations of Lindsey

I take back what I said about being okay with the cold now. It was -6c yesterday and I pretty much died. I wanted to go out today, but it seems to be snowing again and I'm just not sure I can handle it right now. The main reason I want to go out is to go do Barnes and Noble. I have a $30 giftcard and it is refusing to work on the website. This is disappointing.

For my phonetics class this quarter we have the option of doing a paper OR a final. I always prefer to write a paper. But you have to find a native speaker of a language that you're not familiar with and do a few sessions of them saying some words in whatever language and then you transcribe it and write "I thought this k would be unaspirated, but the speaker pronounced it as an aspirated k." Logically, to do this project, you need to be able to read the script and use a dictionary. So it makes good sense that when a girl from my class emails everyone to say "Does anyone need a korean speaker? My friend really wants to do it." I say "sure, I could use a korean speaker!" *Learns the korean writing system* We'll see how that one goes.

I had to order the new version of Al-Kitaab book 2, the one with the DVDs, for the Arabic class for which I'm doing all the work and getting none of the credit. Furthermore, there is only one guy in this class (supposedly)! It's all girls and they were like "hey, our one guy is not here today!" But the prof is really cool and she is from Palestine. I can understand everything she's saying but I can manage to formulate any responses. Especially none in formal ARabic; I can only speak like an Egyptian. Which isn't so bad, if one is in Egypt...

next week, I have a short paper due for my sects and violence class. We were told that we don't have to do research and can make up information, it's just to show that we can write and support a thesis. WTF. This seems like a completely useless exercise and I should think that if you're in university takinga 300-level class, you can write a thesis. I just can't understand how people would not know that.

Well, it is a three-day weekend and I don't have much work (any work?) for school. I do need to work on the gs.c newsletter (which I now have a staff for o.0) and I'm probably just going to relax...maybe go out if it would ever stop snowing >.>

Actual Quotations

Here are some really helpful tips from The Sociology Student Writer's Manual.

"Sociology assignments should be typed or printed on...premium white bond paper, 20 pound or heavier. Sociology that is worth the time to write and read it worth good paper"

"Consider the following examples of sexist and non sexist language:
sexist: Man is a political animal.
corrected: People are political animals."

The book then goes on to explain basic conventions of grammar and punctuation. I'm so glad that I spent $45 on this book >.>

Half the week in review

Thusday was day two of school five. I got lost again. I've definitely having more directional problems than I normaly do. I usually just study the school's map ahead of time and manage to get to the building. Not so, UW. What maladroit misfit designed this place? I joined my syntax class 5 minutes late and spotted several of the (more annoying) individuals from my phonetics class on alternate days. Both linguistics classes are two hours, twice a week. That means I have to spend 8 hours a week with assholes. Pretty lame. There are these two blonde girls who are at least sisters and I think are probably twins in both classes and they seem really creepy. They take all the same classes and are in the same majors and wear very similar clothes. Normally twins don't cause me disquiet (obviously) but they're just freaky as hell.

Last night I finally adjusted my sleeping schedule. I slept from 1:30 to 9:30 this morning, thank god. I think I have a problem with having pressure to sleep. I'll always look at my clock and think "I have to be awake again in N number of hours!" and then that panics me a bit, and then i don't sleep. Either that or it was just anxious energy at being at a new school. Both are possible.

Today I applied for some jobs. When I came home from this venture, I received an email saying that I scored a 44% on the arabic placement exam. This was pretty soul-crushing for me. Actually, it shattered my ego completely and I've spent the whole evening almost crying. Well, no, take that back a bit. After I found out I had phailed, the director of arabic suggested I take 422 (2nd quarter 2nd year) this quarter. There is no way in hell that I can restructure my schedule to accomodate this class. I would have to drop both ling courses and then find another course to fit into my schedule. My obvious first choice is Spanish, but since the UW has not decided to address the issue of the most recent transcript I've sent them, I apparently do not have the prerequisties to take the Spanish class I want. I suppose I could take another placement test but it would probably destroy me. Facing my ignorance in Arabic was soul crushing, facing defeat in espanol would actually kill me all the way. I'm considering taking 2nd year intensive over the summer, but I feel like such an ass. I won't want to do any work becuase I've already done 2nd year (obviously not very well. but I got a B+ and an A in my second year courses, wtf).

Around when I started at BYU, I remember planning to graduate in three years. If I were still there, I would be graduating this Spring. Instead, I'm going to be taking almost twice as long. The realization of which pretty much made me cry. I seriously feel like I'm going to be in school for All Time and that's just been bothering me a lot lately. The earliest I could graduate now is in 2009 (thanks to missing the Arabic classes I would have liked >.>). And five years isn't that long I guess...

In other topics, I feel like the internet is trying TOO hard to connect us all. It seems like any forum or other-service website now not only offers the forum/service, but also allows messaging! the ability to "friend" people! media hosting! groups! blogs! email! I mean, I'm cool with having my email in once place and my photos in another. I don't have to "friend" all of the same people every time we all join a new website. It's really getting kind of old. But I guess eventually the interwebs will just consolidate entirely and maybe then I won't have to remember the logins and passwords for so many sites.

Almost a Disaster

Today's photo is from Amazon. I don't understand why people need "stadium style nachos" at home, but there you have it. Where do people even put these things? I guess if you live in a big house you have space for weird nacho machine/holder things.

First day of school. Forgot my map and schedule. Got lost. Magically made it to both classes on time, but not before seriously considering giving up and hiding in a bathroom to cry over my failure. Sects and Violence is held in the college of forest studies building, so there are signs about recycling and Arbor Day all over. The professor seems a bit self-possessed, but I think if I do the reading, I should be fine. We watched a movie about the People's Temple cult, which I was fascinated by. The class is 2.5 hours long though, which is pretty harsh.

Phonetics went quite well. Our teacher is a really nice grad student who studies sociophonetics. I didn't know that was even a discipline, but if phonetics were to interest me, I think that would be the topic. We formed a little contingent of morphology-lovers at my table. We may start a war.

I am not sure why this article from the Christian Science Monitor presents such surprise that men and women are having friendships just as they would have friends within their own gender. I mean, I've been doing that for a while now and I don't think it's a big deal. Although I do think it's good that some schools are allowing men and women to room together now. Really it's their own choice and for people like me who can never seem to live with girls well, it would be much better.

GoogLife and Admitting Defeat

Today's photo is from Discovery News. I was amused. Here's the actual article that it goes with, but I feel the photo stands alone.

I downloaded Google Desktop today, mostly just to see what it was about. So far, I have made it quite festive. I have a Wikipedia search bar, a to-do list, BBC World News, Al-Jazeera News, Economist news (I'm trying to read the news for once, okay?), email and the weather. Google has gone on to suggest other things that I might like, however it seems to be in the same vein as Amazon.com suggestions. "Hey, I see you bought a video game for PS2 one time. Are you intersted in all the other PS2 games? How about the same game, but for Xbox?" Obviously, that needs some work. Google Toolbar has just been reccomending more news thingies, but I'm about saturated for news.

I feel like it won't be long until we start having GoogleLife--which will probably be abbreviated as GoogLife. "Welcome to the Future! Since the year 2010, Google has been cahceting your entire desktop and all your emails, not to mention your purchases with Froogle and directions with Google Maps. Since we track all your searches and what you watch with Google Desktop, you'll never have to do the searching again! Just open up your personalized Google homepage and GoogLife already knows what you're going to search for! Looking for the perfect recipe to impress your mother in law? We've already found it! Trying to find a great DVD for the family? We already found that too! So just install GoogLife now and allow us to take control!"

Okay, so it's a little far fetched, but that's what it makes me think of.

In an attempt to not be a lazy fuck, I've been trying to go to the gym more and since there is a gym in my apartment complex, there's really no excuse. I got up at 6:30 this morning to work out, which is really somewhat insane. Rather surprisingly, no one was there. All the other times I've gone to the gym that early (because I couldn't sleep all night, if you were wondering) there were all those wacky people who love getting up early to work out. I'm trying to be one of those people.

My Arabic placement exam was at 10. I fucking fail. I was almost late becuase I couldn't find the building (UW is a big place...). Let's say of Arabic information I should know at this point, I know about 2/3 of it. The 1/3 that I don't know what what the placement test consisted of. Damn it! I'll be lucky to even be taking intermediate next year. It's a problem. After my test, I decided to pick up my textbooks, so I went to the bookstore. I found everything easily, but it all cost $420. I've never had to spend so much on books. It was extremely painful. So yeah, it's been a rough morning.

School starts tomorrow, here's how my schedule goes:
Monday and Wednesday: 'sects and violence' 8-10:20 (sooo long), 'intro to phonetics' 10:30-12:20
Tuesday and Thursday: 'syntax' 10:30-12:20, 'dinosaurs' 1:30-2:20
Friday: 'sects and violence' quiz section (ftl) 8:30-9:20

this is the first time since I was 14 that I haven't had any language classes. It's kind of disgusting really...

As predicted, my grandma and mom are terribly upset about my blog relocation. My grandma doesn't know i have a new one, but my mom does and she was pissed that I wouldn't give the address. I don't see why this is such an issue. If I want to address myself to everyone on the internet but them, I think that's my business. Clever use of search engines could probably reveal my new blog anyway becuase I talk about weird shit, not that they would think of that, probably. It's just upsetting me that they're so worked up about it. Argh.

I need to do laundry and maybe buy groceries. I'll probably just end up drowning my sorrow in ps2 and one of those rasberry smirnoff things.

On New Years Day

On the one hand, I feel like I should make a resolution, but on the other, why would I only decide to do things one day out of the whole year? That's completely stupid. Furthermore, no one even follows through with their resolutions so it is doubly pointless.

This week is going to be interesting. Tomorrow is my dreaded Arabic placement test and I'm about saturated with studying. I think I remembered everything I knew, but the problem will be putting it into essay format. As more than one professor has informed me, I have a problem with paying attention to the details. Wednesday will be my first day of school, which includesthe famed "sects and violence" class and intro to phonetics. I really am hoping to meet some interesting people here because I haven't really had nearby friends since I was in Egypt.

I have to get good grades this year becuase grad schools start caring during the junior year. And I have to have at least a 3.0 GPA to get into grad school. I should be fine, but knowing that there's a standard now is a little bit daunting.

I've been feeling very un-lazy lately, so at least I'm off to a good start. And might I add, Seattle is awesome.