une passion morbide

One of the things I think about, living alone and all, is that if I died or something, who would know? how long until someone noticed? what if i got totally exploded in a bus accident or something and no one ever knew where i went. how would ian or my parents find out? I don't know why i think about these things.

Nearly all the vocabulary words in this new chapter of french seem s&m related. Words such as: authority, terrpr, toy, corporal, unyielding, fearsom, stick, punishment, temper tantrum, deprived, to chew, strange habit, to deal severly with, trashing, to trash, spanking, to spank, maniac, whip, to whip, to spoil, permissive, no messing around! and mania. I'm not making that up. That's about half of my new word list. At least I'll know what to say if I ever get into any...situations with odd French men.

There was more to say. Oh. I am sending my cat back to the shelter tomorrow becuase he is causing too much distress and sleep deprivation to me. I feel terrible about it, but i feel more terrible about not getting enough sleep becusae of the cat, so i hope someone more suited to take care of living things adopts him.

Miss You Kiss The Love Cats

I don't know why i'm getting so worked up about finals this term. I usually don't care very much, if at all. There seems to be a combination of factors inducing me into a near panic. It must be time for an unordered list!

• Arabic. This final is my first one and it's on Saturday morning. A lot is riding on it. Namely, the golden ticket for taking towelspeek 423 next quarter, as opposed to having to take all of second year over the summer. Then I can't take all the other shit I wanted to take over the summer and hopefully set myself up so i only have to go to school twice a week next fall. Plan girl is full of plans...
• class is hard. why is it hard? fuck that noise. I need more language classes becuase those are easier and don't require prolonged focusing on stupid theoretical crap.
• and i haven't done all my homework. Didn't turn in all the assignments and i only did averagely well on quizzes this quarter. Call it an adjustment period.
• there's no dead week. Not even a dead few days. Who does that? The last day of the quarter is on Friday and finals start on saturday. UNACCEPTABLE.
  
• health. I'm really tired because work + school + final class assignments + finals. On top of that, I'm on my period. Fucking bleeding to death again becuase I'm not starting my new pills until the sunday after. though you can start them the day you start your period, apparently it's healthier to wait. (im sure that was too much information for just about everyone. too bad).

So Arabic final saturday, fauxnetiks and syntax on monday morning (yes both done by noon. wtf). Dinosaurs next friday. sects and violence just has a final paper (which i need to finish still. fawk). The good news is that I got saturday, sunday and monday off from work in order to deal with this shite. I'm probably going to spend all of that time sleeping too becuase i need that way more than I need to study what spectrograms of vowels look like.


a spectrogram illustrating [lEd], [rEd], [wEd], [jEl].

I got a new cat yesterday (as I informed many of you). His name is Caesar and he is pretty fuckin cute. This cat is very cuddlly, like he's always sitting on my lap and then he'll put his paws on my shoulder and like nuzzle my face. seriously, thats just cute. He also slept on my head and purred really loudly. I guess i'll either get used to that or exile him from the bedroom. Pics to follow when I have a camera...i guess. What is not cute is that Caesar was on my desk--yes where i keep my computer and papers--and knocked over a glass of water. Luckily the only thing destroyed by the flood was my already ailing computer mouse (somewhat ironic that my cat killed the mouse...). I'm having a hard time keeping him off the countertops. Also wondering about my judgement. I can barely take care of myself. I'm somewhat concerned about trying to take care of a cat as well. ah well.

The odd thing is that I meant to get a tattoo yesterday...not a cat. And speaking of which, this guy who is apparently a pretty famous tattoo artist (according to co-worker Nick he's in "All the magazines") has been bringing in pics of his work for us to develop and it's some pretty awesome shit. He did one of David Bowie's face a la "Labyrinth" and then some chick had a sleeve done with koi fish and samurai. I was just like "damn that's awesome." Tomorrow I have to go to some kind of training thing for work. IF it's anything like Saturday's 6 hour Indoctrination to Capitalism Lecture Series I'm going to be pissed. I guess it' s called "president's council" and everyone has to go, but my question is, president's council on what. Council on public health? council on fiscal policy? council on popsicle distribution? I'm sure it'll be a waste of time but hopefully there will be more people so i can covertly read a book or something.

In conclusion, if you talk to me in the next few days, remind me to chill the fuck out or to not panic, however you want to phrase it.