Considering that I'm kind of awkward in person, and I don't know where to find people anyway, I've been trying to meet interesting people on the internet. I've talked to a few interesting people, which is pretty alright. I want to meet friends or potential boyfriends. But it seems like whenever I talk to dudes from the internet, they are only interested in the more-than-friends part. So, that's downer number one, since I just want someone to chill out with.
Secondly, I have become increasingly aware that I really am only attracted to skinny dudes. The downside of the internet is, depending on where you find people, you don't know what they look like right away. I really feel like an asshole when a guy seems cool, but then I'm just not attracted to him. I'd rather tell a guy I'm not attracted to him then drag it out, but I still kind of feel like a jerk. Like, if only I were less shallow, I wouldn't have these problems. I just like what I like though.
The effect of this is not great on my self image. I'm starting to feel that if I want skinny dudes to be attracted to me, then I should be skinnier. This is totally the wrong reason to lose weight. I should be losing weight to be more bad ass, if anything.