Sunday, January 3, 2010

In which the attributes of good friends are considered

I've been thinking a lot lately about the sort of attributes I need in friends/boyfriends. This is largely precipitated by having basically no friends in Redlands (goddamn this town) and that when I do meet people, even people who are pretty cool, I don't always feel like I want to hang out with them and do whatever friends do together.

Consideration One: I am interesting. I went through a period in my early college years when I thought I was a really boring person, and that's why I wasn't going out or making any friends. I think this is largely related to the fact that I was at the heart of Mormonia: BYU. And I am not the sort of person that fits the mormon mold. But I have a lot of varied interests and I want people who can keep up with that. I have also realized that I like to go out, but I also like to stay in. I'm not all one or the other. Again, being at BYU kind of set my normality meter to wonky because people at BYU are constantly running around trying to act interesting to cover up the fact that many of them are hollow people.

Consideratoin Two: What I need from potential friends. One of the most important things is that I want to talk to people who can keep the conversation rolling all day long. I have met too many people who, after the preliminary topics are exhausted, refuse to continue into the world of fantastical, speculative, crazy, intellectual, what-have-you types of conversation that keep us entertained all day. Those people who I can do this with make me happy. But there is nothing more disappointing than meeting someone who seems cool, and then the conversation falls flat after 30 minutes and you're left staring at each other wondering how much more time you can realistically fill that way. Hand in hand with that, is I want friends who have at least some common interest so that we can talk about linguistics, the middle east, circus arts, sci-fi/fantasy books or whatever. Because that is awesome, it also helps keep conversation going. I also need a person who is willing to go on spontaneous adventures. Now that I have the super freedom of not being in school (or work, know eventually there will be work) I want to fucking do things. So sometimes I'll think, it would be cool to go to the beach (or whatever, depending on the locale) right now. I want someone who will be like "alright, let's do it." But someone who is also willing to just chill sometimes. This may be one of the most stringent requests, as I have discovered that many people do not want to do any damn thing. I can understand if someone is busy, but if you're not, there's kind of no reason.

In conclusion, I want to meet my match. If I'm the president of crazy land, I'm saying that we need a prime minister.

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