Deciding is Always So Hard

I have been thinking, as of course I always am, about What I Am Doing With My Life. I've applied for a few jobs: language analyst for the NSA, which would mean moving to maryland; and Staff Services Analyst (a position that encompasses many different jobs) with the state of California, which would mean staying in San Bernardino County. And as ever I am on the horns of dilemma. I am fucking loving being back in the circus. Like, it's the thing that was missing from my life the last 5 or whatever years while I was in college. So even though I am no great fan of Redlands, I am starting to feel like I would be willing to stay just to do circus for the rest of time. However, if I stay in Redlands, working for the state, doubtless I would not be doing language-based work, which I also put a lot of value in. I feel like I'm stuck asking myself "What's more important: The life of the mind? Or the physical arts that I take so much joy from?"

In some ways, I might feel comfortable staying put. I have proven to myself over the last year that I can maintain my studies even without school. On the other hand, I had barely touched my unicycle over the last three years when I was busy wtih school and work. And I know that it was upsetting me to not be doing anything circus-y. So I'm asking myself, if I were to move to Maryland, would I be able to keep it up? Would I be satisfied enough doing Arabic and whatever for the government? Would I be more satisfied doing a job like that than whatever job I could get with the state of California while staying here in the circus. Because in the end aren't all desk jobs still just desk jobs and maybe it wouldn't matter anyway?

At the moment, I kind of feel like whichever one calls me back first is the one that I'll go with. And I really think that right now, I'm leaning towards staying in Redlands. I just know it's going to be a hard to feel 100% right in any decision.

Enough speculation, let's talk about what's awesome! In my ongoing quest to expand my repitoire of unicycle-based jump rope tricks, I got my friend Tanner involved for some two person tricks yesterday. We tried jumping side by side with each of us turning one side of the rope, which I think went pretty well. More sweet ass unicycle tricks to come. And eventually I'm going to make a damn video, but it's so hard to remember.